The Best Men That I Know
January 5, 2009
When I was single and in my 20's, I lived in a house that I bought, with my mom. It was an old and decrepit house that needed lots of fixing up. I worked 50 or 60 hours per week at Nature's Way to pay for the house but I did not have enough money to hire a renovating crew. I attended college part time, and the rest of the time I worked on the house. I attended a single's ward and nice guys from my church came and helped me work at times, but I had to do the majority of the work myself.
Then one night I had a dream. In the dream I lived in a huge old Victorian mansion. Though it was pretty, it was very big and it did not have running water or electricity. I had to haul water from the well and scrub the floors on my hands and knees. It was so much work. I felt tired and busy all the time. The mansion was surrounded by fields of wild flowers. I wanted to play in the wildflower fields, but I could not, because I was too busy.
Several men came to call on me while I worked. One stood below my porch showing me his big muscles and telling me that I should go out with him because he was handsome and strong. Another came and boasted of his shallow virtues. And then a third guy came while I was hauling water. He took the water bucket from me and said that he would do all of the work, so that I could play in the wildflowers. I ran to the fields of flowers looking back at the man who was doing my work…
Then I woke up, crying. The dream seemed so real that I did not want it to end. I wrote it down, and I even drew a picture of it because I knew that it meant something.
The next Sunday at church, I saw a guy in Sunday school taking off his tie to help with an object lesson. He reminded me of someone. The resemblance was stark, but I could not put my finger on it. For the next two hours at church I tried to figure out who it was that he reminded me of. I could not let it go. Then, as I was walking out of church it hit me. He was the guy in my dream that did all of my work so that I could play in the wildflowers. At the time I did not know what that meant, but in time I married the man from my dream and from my Sunday school, Joshua John Hardman.
Being married to Josh has been better than a dream. He works hard for our family and he does all of the housework when he is home. He is the one that wakes up with all of the babies and children at night so that I can sleep without interruption. If there is anything dirty, or rotten, or gross to clean up, he makes sure to take care of it, so I don't have to.
All of this free time, he spends hanging out with me and the kids. We are his hobby, he says. And to top it all off, he is smart and well-read, and fun. I can discuss with him any subject at length, and he always has interesting and well thought-out opinions.
Recently Joshua had a birthday. He has simple tastes. He never spends any money. All he wanted for his birthday was to sleep in and go with me to a movie. We had a great time. Our bishop's wife babysat for us and she also cleaned our house and put our kids to bed. I had won her service at a service auction at church. What a great way to end the day….
…and speaking of babysitting this brings me to my last story. A few weeks ago, I had a couple of teenage girls from my church baby-sit. Josh was away for one of his rotations and I had a mature-ladies night out. Nephi and Grace were asleep, Isaiah was reading and Samuel was looking up his friend's Dylan's phone number on the internet. The two teenage girls were told that they could talk on the phone and have fun together but they could not use the internet. Samuel was to log off as soon as he was done calling his friend.
Just as Samuel was done, and in the process of logging off, the girls told him to stop and to give them the computer. He told them that that was not allowed, but they ignored him and told him to move. Right away, they got on a chat room. Samuel told them that chat rooms were against our house rules and they should not do that. They, "being in charge", ignored him again. Instead, they tried to load up pictures from their phone so they could post them on the chat room. They could not figure out how to attach their phone to my computer so they commanded Samuel to do it. He knelt by the computer as if he was going to help them out, and them he turned the computer right off. They could not log back in and they were furious with him and scolded him for doing the right thing. Then, they went a step further and told him that he better not tell his mom about this.
When I got home I found a detailed letter from Samuel taped to the door explaining what happened. At the end of the letter, he asked me not to be angry at the girls and not to punish them…
Samuel is 9 years old. The girls are 13. They told him to disobey his mother, keep secrets from her, let them break the house rules, and when he withstood them and chose the right, they scolded him. Needless to say, Samuel is more mature and a better person, than his peers. I guess he is growing up to be just like his father…
Sylwia
P.S. I paid Samuel for babysitting the teenagers that night. And I made one of the girls pay him too.
5 Styczen 2009
Najlepszy Meszczyna i Syn
Jak mialam 20 lat i bylam nie zamezna, to kupilam dom z mama. To byl bardzo stary dom i potrzebowal wiele pracy. Nie mialam pieniedzy na zatrudnienie kogos aby te rozne zeczy naprawil, wiec sama musialam nad tym pracowac. Nieraz koledzy z kosciola przychodzili i mi pomagali ale najczesciej sama musialam nad tym pracowac.
Jednej nocy mialam sen. W tym snie mieszkalam w wielkim pieknym starodawnym domu. Choc ten dom byl piekny, niestety nie byl nowoczesny. Woda nie leciala z kranu i nie bylo elektryki. Musialam nosic wode ze studni i na kolanach myc podlogi. Dookola domu byly wielkie pola kwiatow. Chcialam sie w tych polach bawic, ale nie moglam, bo bylam bardzo zajeta i zmeczona.
Kilka meszczyzn przyszlo mnie odwiedzic i poprosic mnie o reke. Jeden stal pod balkonem i pokazywal mi jego wielkie miesnie. Chcial mnie przekonac ze on jest przystojny i silny. Nastepny meszczyna tez czyms sie chwalil. Trzeci meszczyna przyszedl jak ja nioslam wode ze studni. Wziol wode odemnie i powiedzial ze on bedzie za mnie pracowal abym ja mogla bawic sie w polnych kwiatach. Pobieglam w pole kwiatow i z daleka patrzylam na tego meszczyzne ktory za mnie pracowal…
Jak sie obudzilam to plakalam. Ten sen byl taki wyrazny i czulam jak byl by prawdziwy i nie chcialam aby sie skonczyl. Odrazu napisalam i nawet narysowlam co sie w snie dzialo. To wszystko cos znaczylo ale nie wiedzialam co.
W nastepna niedziele poszlam do kosciola. W czasie drugiej klasy koscielnej, jeden chlopak zdejmowal krawat aby porzyczyc nauczycielowi do jakiejs tam demonstracji. Ten chlopak co zdejmowal krawat kogos mi przypomnial ale nie wiedzialam kogo. Przez nastepne dwie godziny prubowalam sie domyslec kogo on mi przypomina. Ja wychodzilam z kosciola to wreszcie sobie przypomnialam. Ten chlopak co zdjemowal krawat byl tym meszczyzna w moim snie ktory za mnie pracowal abym ja sie mogla bawic w polach kwiatow. Wtedy nie wiedzialam co to ma znaczyc, ale rok pozniej wyszlam z maz za tego meszczyzne z mojego snu, i z mojego kosciola, on sie oczyswiscie nazywa Joshua Hardman.
Moje malrzenstwo z Joshem jest nawet lepsze niz moj sen. On ciezko pracuje poza domem, a jak jest w domu to on wszytko robi, sprzata, gotuje, dzieci kapie, itd. On tez jest jedyny ktory wstaje w nocy jak niemolenta lub male dzieci sie budza, bo on chce abym ja sie wyspala. Jesli cos w domu jest bardzo brudne, lub wstretne, lub trudne do wyczyszczenie, to moj maz zawsze sie tym zajmie zebym ja nie musiala.
Caly swoj wolny czas moj maz spedza ze mna i z dziecmi. On nam mowi ze my jestesmy jego rozrywka. Do tego wsztkiego on jest bardzo madry i bardzo fajnie z nim mozna porozmawiac na kazdy temat. On duzo ksiazek czytal jak byl mlodszy (teraz ma tylko czas czytac o medycynie) wiec on cos o wszytkim wie. On ma bardzo madre opinie.
Niedawno moj maz mial urodziny. On nie interesuje sie zeczami, wiec jedyna zecz ktora chcial na urodziny to byla drzemka rano i rantka ze mna do kina. To byl bardzo przyjemnie spedzony czas. Mojego biskupa zona opiekowala sie naszymi dziecmi. Ona nie tylko dziecmi sie zajela, ale sprzatnela nam dom, i dzieci pokladla spac.
Zajmowanie sie dziecmi przypomina mi inny temat. Pare tygodni temu moj maz wyjechal do innego szpitala na tydzien. Ja mialam zebranie z kolerzankami, wiec zatrudnilam 13 letnia dziewczyne (ktorej rodzine dobrze znam i ktora podobno jest bardzo pozadna) i jej podobno pozadna kolerzanke aby sie zajac moimi dziecmi.
Grace i Nefi spali, Isaiah czytal, a Samuel sprawdzal na komputerze number do jego kolegi. Powiedzialam mu zeby wylaczyl komputer jak skonczy, i powiedzialam dziewczyna ze moga rozmawiac przez telefon ale nie moga bawic sie na sieci internetowej, bo to moze byc nie bezpieczne.
Tutaj wile mlodzierzy pisze do ludzi ktorych wcale nie zna na sieci, i nieraz jak niby juz sie poznaja, to sie spotykaja i dziewczyny sa porwane. Takrze, jak ktos dolancza swoj telefon komurkowy do komputera aby dolaczyc zdjecia to takiej rozmowy, to ten inny czlowiek co sie na tym zna, moze dowiedziec sie numer tego telefonu i nawet adres tej osoby. Ja nie wiem czy w Polsce czy w Niemczech sa takie problemy, ale u nas sa. Wiec to nie jest madre aby dzieci mialy dostep do sieci internetowej bez rodzicow.
Wiec powiedzialam dziewczyna ze zaraz komputer Samuel wylaczy i ze nie wolno wiecej nic na komputerze zrobic. Zreszta po wylaczeniu potrzeboway by haslo aby go znowu wlaczyc.
Ja poszlam na przyjecie i Samuel skonczyl to co robil na komputerze i zaczol go wylanczac. Dziewczyny mu zabronily computer wylaczyc i od razu weszly na siec. Tez od razu zaczely gadac z ludzmi ktorych nie znaly. Samuel im powiedziam ze im nie wolno, ale one go nie sluchaly. Po jakims czasie dziewczyny probowaly podlaczyc swoj telefon komurkowy do mojego komputera aby pokazac zdjecia tym z ktorymi na komputerze "rozmawiali". Dziewczyny nie umialy tego telefonu podlaczyc wiec kazali Samuelowi to zrobic. On nie chcial ale one mu kazaly. Wiec on podszedl do komptera, ale zamiast podlaczyc telefon, to on wylaczyl computer. Dziewczyny byly na niego bardzo zle, bo ani on, ani one nie znaly hasla aby znowu kompter wlaczyc. Tez kazaly Samuelowi nic nie powiediec mi o tym co one robily.
Ja jak wrocilam pozno do domu, to wszyscy spali. Ale Samuel napisal mi na kartce wszytko co sie stalo i powiesil te kartke na drzwiach abym odrazu zobaczyla. Pod koniec opisu on poprosil mnie abym nie byla na dziewczyny za bardzo zla i zebym ich za bardzo nie pokarala. Samuel jest bardzo dobrym czlowiekiem.
Samuel ma 9 lat, a te dziewczyny maja 13 lat. One mu kazaly nie sluchac mamy, kazaly mu nic mamie nie powiedziec. Tez przed nim robily to co jest w naszym domu zakazane, i jak on ich nie posluchal, i byl odwarzny, i zrobil to co bylo wlasciwe, to one byly na niego bardzo zle.
Z tego wynika ze Samuel jest bardziej odpowiedzialny, bardziej godny zaufania, i jest lepsza osoba niz inne dzieci w jego wieku lub nawet starsze. Wyglada na to ze wyrosnie podobny do swojego ojca…
Sylwia
P.S. Ja zaplacilam Samuelowi za "opieke tych 13-letnich dzieci", i tez kazalam jednej dziewczynie mu zaplacic za to ze on byl dla nich przykladem i ze sie nimi opiekowal.
9 comments:
Good for Samuel!!!
O.K., now I need to know who the sitters were so I don't hire them. :)
~Brandi
P.S. The story about your dream made me cry.
Sylwia,
What a wonderful tribute to your husband. I loved reading your dream. How cool. I bet you are so happy you wrote it down and now years later you can remember it as if it happend last night.
Happy Late Birthday Josh!!!!!
Samuel you are growing up to be just like you dad...
One of my fav things about Iowa was knowing you. I so love reading all of your posts/letters!
I'm picturing Riis playing the role of Samuel in future. He's such a good example!
This is one reason I've just given up on babysitters and am waiting for Avery to turn 11. Only three more years. :P
The other reason is that none of the YW ever seem to be available to babysit. Normally I'd think they'd heard about my kids, but we're too new here for that. (Besides the fact that my kids aren't THAT bad).
Hi Sylwia, I hope you don't mind I read this (after seeing your comment on my blog :)) and it's so touching. My husband is a lot like yours, that he does a lot of the drudgery work for me, and although I still do some of the yucky stuff too, he doesn't mind when I save something gross for him to clean up. I feel deep down that my husband is a huge blessing to me, as a relief from the very work-intensive pre-married life I had too, similar to your story. And I am paranoid about babysitters too. I'm so sorry you had that experience. You're raising your children very well, and I hope that the enticements of the world that have obviously crept into those teenage girls' lives, will stay at bay in your childrens' lives. So here's my email address: angelamarie88@yahoo.com. I'm not too paranoid about sharing things like that online, I feel safe enough, as long as I'm not giving out my social security number or home address :). Nice "talking" with ya :)
Oops, that comment from "John" was really me. My husband must have been signed in earlier on this computer to read my private stuff, haha.
I loved reading this post. What a wonderful tribute to your husband and son- truly if our world was fun of men like them . . . How proud you must be of Samuel! I loved reading about your dream- truly Josh is who you needed in your life! Your stories are so inspiring.
I didn't know about that dream but I can still see the room where Josh taught and I remember how much you liked his class (I did too but not as much as you did). You are really blessed to have such great men in your life. Mario is a lot like Samuel too so it might be a generational thing (I hope)...always so amazingly obedient and righteous.
Your response to the babysitting situation was great! Way to reinforce integrity in Samuel and hopefully teach a lesson to those girls too.
Thank you for sharing your dream. I also had a few dreams about Kent and our children before I was married. I never shared them until we were engaged because they were so sacred to me, but they were also very comforting because I knew they directed me in correct choices.
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