June 21, 2009
My Thoughts on Father's Day
A lot of women in my church don't enjoy Mother's Day, because they claim it makes them feel guilty for not being the perfect mothers they hear about at church. I don't share that sentiment. My husband tells me that I'm a phenomenal mother. This is not because I'm perfect, I'm far from that. I yell and scream and boss and don't allow much free agency. But I don't have to be perfect to feel good about my mothering.
What my husband thinks makes me a great mother is the fact that I take full responsibility for my children. What he means by that, is the fact that I don't leave it up to the school to teach my children reading, writing, and math. I teach it all to them, and the school reinforces what I teach. I don't leave it up to my church to teach my children the gospel or the scripture stories. Again, every day I teach the scriptures to them and the church just reinforces my teachings. I don't leave it to any other person or institution to feed my children unhealthy food. I make sure to give them natural healthy well balanced meals from scratch three times per day. I don't like them to eat the processed food at the school cafeteria. When we go to a party that only serves pizza and soda, I make sure to feed them vegetables and whole grains first, and then they can eat pizza and soda for snacks. I don't rely on the school PE program to keep my kids fit. Instead, I make them bike to school, and play several hours per day outside, and I don't own a TV. I don't rely on my kids to become interested in books. Every week I research online books that will be interesting to each one of my children, and I get 40+ books at the library each week for them to read. Each of my children has about 10 books to get through every week. I also make my kids do most of the housework for me. I figure that's good for them, not to mention the benefits for me.
And that's about it. I don't really do much else as a mother, and thanks to my husband's opinion, I think I'm phenomenal. I don't feel any type of guilt when I hear of other mothers who do more or who do things differently.
But why am I talking about myself on Father's Day? Because I couldn't do any of the things that I do without my dear perfect husband Josh. Many women jokingly refer to their husband as another one of their children because they are a bit lazy, a bit immature, and require care. I have never felt that way about my husband. I have always felt that he is the one who takes care of my wants and needs as well as of our children. Not only does he provide for us by working and going to school (in the past), he also does all the chores as soon as he gets home. He helps put on the dinner, he cleans up, reads to the kids, plays with the kids, reads the scriptures to them, teaches them, puts them to bed, and gets up with them if they cry in the night. He is never lazy or selfish with his time. All his time is for us, and I mean all of it. You will never see him playing computer games or watching TV (we don't even have one).
Josh is also very mature. Not only does he not spend any time on himself, he also never spends any money on himself. I don't remember the last time he bought himself anything. Other than required military shoes, he only has one pair that he wears, and one old pair for running. He never buys clothes, or CDs, or DVDs, or even any electronics. He uses an old half-broken cell phone, drives a car with no AC that breaks down all the time, and does not have a working palm pilot or a computer that would make his job as a doctor much easier. On the other hand, he makes sure I have a reliable car with AC, and he readily agrees for me to buy a Bosch for bread making or a Vitamix to help me in the kitchen. Whatever I want or need is his priority, whatever he wants or needs, he puts on the back burner, and forgets about it.
My husband never acts like a child. He does not whine or argue or pout or require any care. Instead, he willingly serves all of us all the time. He tells me he loves me a dozen times per day and everyday tells me that I'm beautiful. He has no expectations of me. Whether I clean the house or not, shower or not, brush my hair or not, cook or not, whine or scream, he is happy with me and tells me that I'm the perfect wife, which I'm sure I'm not, but he chooses to see me differently.
In reality, Joshua is the perfect husband. And being married to him for 11 years, I have come to know that God is good. Because God is at least as patient, as kind, as slow to anger, and as unselfish as my husband. And God has taught my husband everything that he knows.
When we were first married Josh pointed out to me a scripture in the book of Joshua 1:8. It reads: "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success."
Every day, sometimes morning and night, I see my husband read and meditate upon the scriptures, and he always observes to do everything that is written therein. All that my husband is and does, he has learned from the Savior that he daily imitates.
Sylwia
I'm attaching some pictures of Josh taking the kids to practice shooting real guns, me taking the kids fishing behind our house, and picking blackberries, and a couple of Sunday shots.
21 Czerwiec 2009
Moje Mysli w Dzien Ojca
Wiele kobiet w moim kosciele nie lubi Dnia Matki, bo mi mowia ze maja wyrzuty sumienia jak w kosciele ktos opowiada o wpsanialych matkach. Ja sie z takim mysleniem nie zgadzam. Ja lubie Dzien Matki bo moj maz mi zawsze mowi ze ja jestem wspaniala matka. Oczywiscie nie jestem doskonala, bo krzycze, denerwuje sie, i nie daje moim dzieciom duzo wyboru. Ale ja nie musze byc doskonala aby czuc ze jestem wpsaniala matka.
Moj maz uwaza mnie za wspaniala matka bo ja jestem 100 procent odpowiedzialna za moje dzieci. Ja nie uwazam ze szkola ma obowiazek nauczyc moje dzieci pisac, czytac, i liczyc. Ja same dzieci ucze a szkola uzupelnia to czego ja ucze. Ja tez nie uwazam ze moj koscil ma obowiazek uczyc moje dzieci o Bogu i o Pismie Swietym. Ja sama dzieci o tym ucze, a kosciol uzupenia moja nauke. Ja daje komus innemu lub jakiejs instytucju prawo do karmienia moich dzieci niezdrowego jedzenia. Sama gotuje naturalne zdrowe jedzenia dla nich trzy razy dziennie, aby nie jadly niezdrowego jedzenia w szkole. Jak ktos nas zaprasza na pizze i slodkie picie, to ja przed wysciem daje moim dzieciom warzywa i zdrowe ziarna aby sie najedli. U kogos innego moga jesc te nie zdrowe jedzenie ale to dla rozrywki a nie jako posilek. Ja nie polegam na wychowanie fizyczne w szkole aby moje dzieci byly silne i zdrowe. Za to sama im kaze jezdzic do szkoly na rowerach, bawic sie kilka godzin po szkole na dworzu, i tez nie mam telewizora. Ja nie czekam na to zeby moje dzieci same zainteresowaly sie ksiazkami. Zato ja sama, raz na tydzien, spedzam czas na internecine i wyszukuje im ksiazki ktore im sie podobaja. W kazdym tygodniu chodze do biblioteki i wyporzyczam 40+ ksiazek. Kazde dziecko ma przynajmniej po 10 ksiazek do przeczytania na tydzien. Ja tez kaze moim dzieciom sprzatac wiekszosc naszego domu za mnie. Uwazam ze to jest dobre dla nich, no i oczywiscie dobre dla mnie.
Pozatym ja nie wiele robie. Ale w mojego meza opinji ja jestem doskonala matka. Ja nigdy nie mam wyzutow sumienia jak slysze ze inne matki wiecej robia dla swoich dzieci, lub innaczej sie nimi zajmuja.
Ale po co ja pisze o sobie w Amerykanskim Dniu Ojca? Bo ja bym nigdy nie byla wspaniala matka bez pomocy mojego doskonalego meza. Wiele kobiet lubi zartowac ze ich mezowie sa podobni do dzieci. Tak zartuja, bo meszczyzni naogol sa troche leniwi w domu, troche sa niedojzali, i czesto trzeba sie nimi i ich potrzebami zajmowac. Moj maz nidgy tak sie nie zachowuje. On zawsze sie zajmuje mna i dziecmi i naszymi potrzebami. Nie tylko on dla nas pracuje i 100 procent nas utrzymuje, ale jak on wraca do domu to on pomaga z obiadem, sprzata, czyta dzieciom ksiazki, bawi sie z dziecimi, czyta im Pismo Swiete, uczy ich, kladzie je spac, i budzi sie z nimi w nocy jesli placza. On nie jest nigdy leniwy, lub egosityczny ze swoim czasem. Caly jego czas jest dla nas. Nigdy on nie gra na komputerze, i nie oglada telewizji.
Josh tez jest bardzo dojzaly. Nie tylo on spedza caly jego czas na nas, on tez nigdy nie wydaje pieniedzy. Ja nie pamietam kiedy ostatnio on cos sobie kupil. On ma jedne buty w ktorych chodzi, jedne stare tenisowki do biegania. On nigdy nie kupuje ubran, plyt, DVD, ani tez zadnych zeczy elektronicznych. On ma stary pol zepsuty telefon, i ma stary samochod ktory czesto sie psuje i ktory nie ma klimatyzacji. On nawet nie ma swojego malego komputera ktorego wszycy inni lekarze maja do wykonywania swojej pracy. Zato Josh zawsze dba o to zebym ja miala dobry samochod z klimatyzacja. On zawsze zacheca mnie abym ja kupila sobie drogie uzadzenia do kuchni aby moja praca w domu byla lzejsza. Moje potrzeby lub mazenia sa mojego meza priorytetem. Swoje wlasne potrzeby moj maz odlada na pozniej i on nich najczesciej on zapomina.
Moj maz nidgy nie zachowuje sie jak dziecko. On sie nie kloci, nie narzeka, nie robi kwasnych min, i nie wymage tego zeby ktos sie nim zajmowal. Zato on nam cale dnie sluzy. Codziennie on mi mowi ze ja jestem piekna i mowi mi ze mnie kocha przynajmniej 12 razy na dzien. On tez nie ma zadnych wymagan odemnie. Nie wazne czy ja sprzatam czy nie, czy ja gotuje czy nie, czy ja czesze wlosy czy nie, czy ja narzekam na cos lub krzycze na dzieci, on zawsze jest mna zadowolony i mi mowi ze ja jestem doskonala zona. Oczywiscie ja nie mysle ze ja jestem doskala, ale moj maz traktuje mnie jako doskonala osoba.
W prawdzie moj maz jest doskonalym mezem. Przez to zy zyje z nim juz 11 lat, wiem ze Bog jest dobry. Bo Bog jest przynajmniej tak cierpliwly, tak kochajacy, tak spokojny, tak bezinteresowny, jak moj maz. I Bog nauczyl mojego meza jak on ma zyc.
Na poczatku naszego malrzenstwa, moj maz pokazal mi czesc z Bibli z ksiegi Jozuego 1:8. Tam jest napisane: "Niechal nie oddala sie ksiega tego zakonu od twoich ust, ale rozmyslaj o niej we dnie i w nocy, aby scisle czynic wszystko, co w niej jest napisane, bo wtedy poszczesci sie twojej drodze i wtedy bedzie ci sie powodzilo."
Moj maz codziennie, nieraz dwa razy dzinnie, czyta Pismo Swiete i zawsze robi to co w Pismie Swietym jest napisane. Mojego meza charakter i osobowosc pochodzi od nasladowaniu naszego Zbawiciela.
Sylwia
Zalanczam zdjecia jak moj maz wziol dzieci uczyc strzelac prawdziwe pistolety, jak ja ich wledzielam na ryby i na jerzyny zaraz za naszym domem, i pare zdjec z niedzieli.
3 comments:
Josh IS awesome!!! He's my favorite. Because he's so awesome - do you budget money/time/effort to allow him any type of indulgence? If Josh had had $100 and 2 days off of work/resposibility; what do you think he would do? I just BARELY found your blog, Silwia. Thanks!
Sunny
Josh wanted to let you know that if he had a couple of days off and a 100 dollars (which he already has) he'd sleep in a go to a movie if there was a good one playing. that's about it.
i don't disallow him any indulgences. he has access to all of our money and to all of his time, he just chooses to live the way i described. that's what makes him so amazing.
sylwia
what a beautiful post and tribute to your good husband. it doesn't take long to see what an amazing person he is. I've always been impressed.
We sure miss your strong family here!
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