Monday, March 1, 2010

'Some Guy' / 'Jakis Facet'

'Some Guy'

3 March 2010


Josh has been gone for a few weeks taking care of trauma patients in Ohio.   I thought that most trauma patients were car accident victims, but boy was I wrong.  Ninety percent of the cases are petty criminals and low- lives who deal drugs or cheat on their spouses and the angry boyfriend or husband stabs or shoots them. 


When the cops and doctors ask what happened they always get the same answer:  "I was minding my own business and 'some guy' just stabbed me."  Or "I was minding my own business and 'some guy' shot me". (Yeah, sure.  I mind my own business all the time and no one has stabbed me yet.) 


As the cops dig deeper it is revealed that they were selling drugs, fighting, and or cheating with someone's wife and they usually know the perpetrator: rival gangster, wife's boyfriend, girlfriend's husband, drunk neighbor, drunk best friend, self, and even their drunk psychiatrist who happens to have a sword collection in his office.  Nevertheless, the story is always the same.  It's 'some guy's fault. 


The doctors have a joke about 'some guy'.  They say if the police would just catch that 'some guy' all this would end.  If there are a lot of admissions the doctors say "some guy is busy tonight".


'Some guy' even ran himself over with his own car.  How is that possible?  Well, it turns out that he was running away from the repo man and his windshield was all frosted over.  He couldn't see as he was speeding away, so he opened the door to be able to see.  Then he went around a curve, fell out and the car, and ran himself over.  I guess that counts as a car accident, but it's definitely 'some guy' style.




1 Marzec 2010

'Jakis Facet'


Przez ostatnie 2 tygodnie Josh jest w stanie Ohio i on tam pracuje w centrum obrazen.  Tam on leczy ludzi ktorzy mieli jakis okropny wypadek.  Ja zawsze myslalam ze wiekszoscz wypadkow to od samochodow.  Ale 90 procent wypadkow to przestepwca. 


Jak karetka kogos przywozi do szpitala to policja i lekarze pytaja sie co sie stalo.  Kazdy ma ta sama opowiesc.  "Ja nic nie robilem a 'jakis facet' mnie postrzelil."  Albo, "Ja nic nie robilem a 'jakis facet' mnie pchna nozem."  Ale to nigdy  nie prawa.  Jak policia wiecej sie dowiaduje to wychodzi na to ze ten ktos cos zlego robil.  Z kims sie klocil, spal z czyjas zona, kupowal lub sprzedawal narkotyki, itd.  Takrze prawie zawsze ten skrzywdzony czowiek zna tego co go skrzywdzil:  konkurencyjny gangster, zony kochanek, kochanki maz, upity sasiad, upity ulubiony kolega, sam, i nawet upity psychiatra ktory ma prawdziwe miecze w swoim biurze.  Ale opowiesc jest zawsze taka sama.  Nic nie robilem i 'jakis facet' kotorego nie znam mnie postrzelil. 


Lekarze smieja sie z tych opowiesci.  Mowia ze jesli by policja tylko zlapala tego 'jakiegos faceta' to juz ludzie by nie byli tak krytycznie zranieni.  Jak bardzo duzo zranionych ludzi przychodzi to lekarze mowia:  'jakis facet' dzisiaj jest bardzo zajety.


'Jakis facet' nawet sam siebie przejachal swoim samochodem.  Jak?  To byl samochod banku za ktory ten 'jakis facet' nie placil wiec bank przyszedl mu samochod zabrac. On probowal uciekac, ale bylo bardzo zimno i bylo tak duzo lodu na oknie ze nic nie widzial jak jechal. Otworzyl drzwi aby zobaczyc gdzie jedzie, skrecil kierownice, wypadl z samochodu, i samochod go przejechal.  Musze przyznac ze to jednak wypadek samochodowy, ale w stylu 'jakiegos faceta'.






A little bit of crazy.... said...

Thank you for your comment on my blog. I think there is so much that could be said on that subject and your addition was a good one, even though you didn't say anything personal.

If I were to give my every opinion on the subject and where I stand personally or even add every quote by church leaders I could write dozens of posts that size! I just hope that someday I can be more obedient to the Word of Wisdom as it was intended because I know I am not now.


小研 said...

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